A Testament to Faith

If you don’t believe in a higher power (e.g., God, Jesus, Source, the Universe), then this post might not be for you, and that’s perfectly okay. Just move on, please. I am not writing to convert anyone or change your mind. I am writing to simply share my experience. Period. No more, no less.

For those who’ve been following me for a while, you already know I have major “issues” with organized religion. One day I will talk about it because it too is cray cray. In the meantime, I just tell everyone, I believe in everything and nothing at all. We celebrate everything and nothing at all. Honestly, I don’t “need” a holiday to tell me to buy gifts. I buy gifts when I feel called too. But, I digresss. I absolutely believe in a higher power. In fact, I often say, #YogaIsMyReligion. Why? Because I embrace yogic principles as my way of life. I’ve always identified as more spiritual than religious, valuing personal spirituality over traditional structures. For years, I’ve sought to deepen my spirituality, even without fully understanding what that journey would entail.

This journey of rediscovering my faith has been gradual and profound. Over the years, I have told my husband that I’m not sure how to even pray. I do say grace before meals and bedtime prayers. And, recently, I’ve returned to reading my daily devotionals with intention, really absorbing their messages. Just to minimize confusion, I grew up as a conservative Jew. My hubs grew up Catholic and is now Methodist.

The other day, an occupational therapist said to me after hearing what happened, “So you basically experienced spontaneous healing.” And I thought, “Yeah, I did.” It amazed me all over again. I hadn’t really thought of it in that way. Although when people call me strong, I have been correcting them: “I’m not strong. I give all the glory to God.” I know THIS wasn’t my doing. What is it that I am then? I am resilient, which doesn’t mean it’s been easy because it has not been. But, I haven’t given up!

When I shared this with my husband, he reminded me that God puts us in certain positions to reveal His glory and to teach us to rely on Him. Reflecting on my experience of paralysis, I realize now that I did lean on God when I was so sick, even if unknowingly at the time. I wasn’t consumed by fear or anxiety. Instead, I had complete confidence that my body would heal itself. Despite my body letting me down momentarily, I trusted its ability to recover. I wasn’t mad or upset ….

Even now, I hate to say it (and worry I will be struck down, JK? Nay). I don’t fully trust God by placing all my worries on Him. I wish I did. I still struggle with worry, depression, anxiety, and frustration. And yes, I sometimes wrestle with why God chose to heal me. Just yesterday, my cardiologist reminded me of the severity of my stroke, emphasizing how amazing it is that I can walk, talk, and live my life as I do. Hearing his amazement, I couldn’t help but acknowledge, “Yes, I’m amazing.” (lol, IYKYK) But truly, all the grace goes to God.

The other day, I felt compelled to share my testimony in a Facebook group for stroke survivors. Someone encouraged me to share if I felt led, and I do, I think (at least enough to write this post).

Here’s my story: I experienced a major ischemic stroke with a hemorrhagic conversion. I was completely paralyzed on my left side. Yet, within less than 48 hours, I was “mostly” back to normal. That’s God! I don’t believe it was anything I did or anything the doctors did. It was divine intervention.

Since this realization, I’ve been surrendering more to God, though I’m still human and get frustrated as I said above. But now, sometimes, I literally cry out to Him in prayer. For example, the other day I struggled with frustration over my ADHD and post-stroke fatigue. On my way home, I prayed harder than I have in a long time. Whether or not my prayers are answered in the way I hope, I trust Him and know I’ll be okay. Why? Because I already am. In fact, I’m more than okay.

That said, I’d like to share how difficult blogging has become for me:

Post-stroke fatigue is debilitating.

ADHD is cray cray …..

My left hand is still not fully functional. In fact, I think it’s getting worse.

Finding a way to dictate my blog posts into written form takes time and effort, which I haven’t had yet. (Well, I finally figured out the other day!)

So, I’ve decided that I don’t have to blog. What I have to do is honor my mind, body, soul, and the Lord above. Wherever I am in life is #Perfect because I am #PerfectlyImperfect. See? #YogaIsMyReligion.

If you’re reading this, I encourage you to take a moment today to reflect on how a higher power may have worked in your life. What moments of grace or intervention stand out to you? When have you felt truly guided or supported by something greater than yourself? Sharing these moments can be a powerful way to inspire others and deepen your own connection to the divine.

Now, I’d love to hear from you: When have you seen a higher power show up in your life?