Embracing Change: My Journey from People-Pleasing to Peace
Embracing Change: My Journey from People-Pleasing to Peace
I experienced a wake-up call that forced me to confront who I really am—a severe stroke that reshaped my life and perspective in ways I never anticipated.
Since then, I’ve come to realize something surprising about myself: I used to be a major people pleaser without even knowing it. I always wanted to do good and have people like me (which I never thought, as I considered myself a nonconformist). I wanted to avoid confrontation (which I really dislike!). I thought I was just sensitive to others’ energy or co-dependent. But looking back, I see how often I put my own needs aside just to make others comfortable. I’m still figuring out where that came from, but my people-pleasing tendencies were not just exhausting; they could also be frustrating for those around me (just ask the Hubs). I often felt responsible for everything and everyone, which left me feeling inadequate and overwhelmed. It’s funny how you think you know yourself, only to uncover something new.
The Power of Change
A quote from Tony Robbins that my friend Debi shared struck a chord with me: “You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change.” Reflecting on it, I realized how deeply it resonated with my journey. Before the stroke, I kept thinking, “I need a reboot. I need to do better.” I certainly didn’t expect that reboot to come in the form of a stroke. It’s strange how life aligns sometimes. I think I always knew something had to change; I just didn’t know how or why. A stroke certainly wasn’t on my radar.
True strength lies in setting boundaries and prioritizing my own needs. Here’s what I’m focusing on:
Protecting my peace
Setting boundaries
Embracing my new self
I’m unapologetically working to protect my peace and uplift myself without harming others. My mantra, “Peace Begins with Me,” has been a grounding force as I navigate these changes. I remind myself of this whenever I encounter situations that threaten my tranquility. I believe this mantra came from Gabrielle Bernstein during COVID.
Embracing My New Self
As I strive to remain calm and not conform to others' expectations, I recognize that some may still anticipate the old Karen. But she’s gone! I know this change in me might be hard for others to accept, as roles are shifting. And please know, as I write this blog, I’m feeling a bit sad, although I’m not entirely sure why. I want to embody strength and resilience, but that doesn’t mean I can’t acknowledge the weight of my experiences. Recognizing these feelings doesn’t undermine my strength; it adds depth to my journey.
This transformation hasn’t been easy, but it’s essential. The person I was before isn’t coming back, and I’m completely fine with that. Sometimes change is thrust upon us, and I’m ready to embrace this new version of myself—stronger, wiser, and definitely clearer about what I want. As my sister keeps reminding me, I am still me at my core, and I’m really happy about that too. While I may not be exactly where I want to be, I’m coming into my own and truly starting to love myself. It’s amaze-balls!
Finding Support and Strength
I’m incredibly grateful for my amazing healthcare team and community who are supporting me through this journey. They’re truly fantastic! Some were hand-picked, while others felt like they appeared just when I needed them. Their encouragement has been invaluable, and I’ll share more about them soon.
Final Thoughts
Change isn’t always easy, but sometimes staying the same is even harder. I’m discovering how strong and resilient I am, and I’m embracing this new chapter of my life—and settling into it and enjoying it too!
If you’re also on a journey of transformation, remember: it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions. Let’s protect our peace together and embrace the beautiful chaos of change.
