The Rollercoaster of Life: Staying Present and Protecting My Peace
It’s been a minute, but here I am. 😊
Saturday morning, as I was on my way to yoga, I had an idea: My life should be a video game. Seriously. No joke. It would be so much fun! In my game, I’m cute and round (obviously, lol), and I wear a cape. My life is a constant series of highs and lows—often several times a day. It’s like I’m in a never-ending battle… just to be... until the next challenge arises. And you know what? I’m here for it. That’s the rollercoaster of life, right? I could so see you playing the game and routing for me. 😊
That said, I’m still in the process of fully processing the stroke. It’s been eight months, and some days, I still can’t believe it happened. I’ll think: “I had a stroke at 52?! What the f#ck?!” And then I text the hubs, and he calmly reminds me: “But you’re alive, and that’s what matters.” Those words are both grounding and reassuring. Yet sometimes, when I think about the future, fear creeps in. But you know what? It’s okay. I’m not trying to convince myself of this, but it’s true: it has to be okay, because life keeps moving forward. It forces me to stay present. And yoga is the practice that helps me do that. As they say, “Anxiety is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” (BTW, who are “they” when we say “they”?)
In fact, I truly believe that all those yoga certifications and hours of practice have led me to this point. Yoga has prepared me for this. As my therapist said, I am the “Yoga Zen Master,” after all. Now it’s time to walk the talk and practice what I preach.
Does anyone else feel like your days are just too full?
I felt this way before the stroke, and I still feel it now. My days are packed, and on top of that, I’m dealing with short-term memory loss. Some days I worry that I’m regressing, which only adds another layer of stress. A coworker reassured me that she hasn’t noticed any changes, and that’s a good reminder of how essential sleep and managing stress are to my well-being.
This time of year, I tend to #hibernate. I’ve realized that my life is getting overwhelming again. Eight months post-stroke, I’m working 37.5 hours a week, going onsite once a week, teaching yoga, keeping up with therapy and medical appointments, and—of course—doing my best to maintain my home and relationships. It’s a lot. By the grace of God, I’ve recovered exceptionally well, but honestly? I have to take a step back somewhere. So, hibernation begins now. I’m reinstating a weekly day off with zero obligations—Sundays are now my day to recharge.
I’m also reevaluating my friendships. Please don’t take it personally if I don’t respond right away or if I decline an invitation to grab drinks. I just can’t keep up, and I have to protect my peace above all else. Some relationships will need to be let go. That’s part of my plan to preserve my mental and emotional health.
Although I’m in hibernation mode and keeping a low profile, you’ll likely “see” more of me here on my blog. I’m shifting priorities, refocusing, and yes—I’m excited! The other night, I couldn’t sleep until after 3 a.m. Why? Because there’s so much I want to do. So much I will do. But I know it won’t all happen at once, and that’s okay.
So, what’s my immediate plan?
Reduce stress
Get enough sleep
Get my eating under control
Exercise
And maybe most importantly: PROTECT MY PEACE.
Trust me, this is JUST WHERE I AM STARTING. I’m excited, and I’m so grateful to have you with me on this journey—there’s SO MUCH MORE to come. Tell me your plans for the next few months?!
